Brett Ortler

Author, Writer, Editor, and Nature Nerd

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Essays, Articles, Poetry, and Photography

Parenting, Humor and Commentary

Talking To My Kangaroo-Loving Kid About the Australian Wildfires, Fatherly, 1.14.20,
https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/relationships/parenting-strategies-advice/australian-wildfires-explaining-kids-kangaroos/

My Wife and I Had Two Miscarriages. Will They Be Crimes Under a New Heartbeat Bill?, 5.23.19
https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/under-heartbeat-bill-our-two-miscarriages-could-be-crimes/

13 Ways to Know You’re Raising a 3-Year-Old, Fatherly, 10.30.18, https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/how-to-know-youre-raising-3-year-old/

6 Reasons Why My Kids Love ‘Mister Rogers,’ And Why He’s Still Relevant Today, Fatherly, 10.23.18, https://www.fatherly.com/play/tv/why-mister-rogers-neighborhood-still-relevant-today/

Why I Love My Wife’s Postpartum Body, Fatherly, Scary Mommy, PopSugar, Babble, among many others; this piece has been picked up worldwide, 09.22.15, https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/…/why-i-love-my-wifes-postpartum-body/

8 Ways Having A Toddler Is Like A Hostage Negotiation With A Highly Unstable Person, Fatherly, Yahoo! Parents, HuffPost, 07.07.15, www.fatherly.com/play/5-reasons-raising-a-pet-is-nothing-like-raising-children/

Why I’m Happy With Giving Up My ‘Man Card’ To Be A Better Dad, Fatherly, 03.09.17, https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/take-man-card-away-better-dad/

When Did My 5-Year-Old’s Art Career Take Over My Life?, Fatherly, 03.03.17, https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/pretending-love-kids-artwork/

My Gross Kids Just Introduced Me To Diseases I’d Never Even Heard Of, Fatherly, 11.21.16, https://www.fatherly.com/health-science/parents-guide-how-kids-sickness-affects-you/

Your Sex Life Gets Complicated And 7 Other Things I Wish I Knew Before Having A Second Kid, Fatherly, Scary Mommy, 07.05.16, https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/sex/how-being-a-parent-changes-when-you-have-your-second-kid/

The Very Strange Turn Bedtime Takes When You Disrupt My Toddler’s Evening Routine, Fatherly, Scary Mommy, 05.16.16, https://www.fatherly.com/health-science/sleep/putting-toddlers-to-sleep-is-the-best-and-worst-part-of-the-day/

Here’s Why I Appreciate My Kids Even When They’re Melting Down, Fatherly, Scary Mommy, 02.08.16, https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/relationships/why-you-should-appreciate-toddler-even-when-they-stress-you-out/

9 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Took My Kid To The Playground For The First Time, Fatherly, Scary Mommy, 01.14.16, https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/9-things-parents-need-to-know-before-they-take-kids-to-the-park/

5 Reasons Raising A Pet Is Nothing Like Raising Children, 08.13.15, Fatherly, https://www.fatherly.com/play/5-reasons-raising-a-pet-is-nothing-like-raising-children/

Parenting Activities for Fatherly

How to Find and Catch Fireflies, According to a Firefly Expert,

3 Bugs Kids Can Easily Catch and Raise as Pets

‘The Handwriting Game’ Tricks Kids Into Practicing Their Penmanship

The Best Backyard Stick Fort To Build With Your Kids

This Brilliant Bug Scavenger Hunt Entertains All Kids

‘Indoor Winter Olympics’ Lets Kids Go for Gold Without Putting on a Coat

The Main Event Lets Kids Spar in an Epic Shadow Boxing Match

‘As Seen on TV’ Is a Fast-Paced Improv Game That Exhausts the Imagination

‘Portrait Session’ Is A Drawing Game That Keeps Kids In Stitches

‘Happy Fun Time’ Is a Fake-Believe Game Show That Tricks Kids Into Learning

This $69 Microscope Lets My Kid Examine Germs Without Getting His Hands Dirty, Fatherly, 11.15.17,

Narrative Essays

1-UP, The Fanzine, 09.11.18, http://thefanzine.com/1-up/

A Simple Stretch of Highway, The Fanzine, 09.7.17 http://thefanzine.com/a-simple-stretch-of-highway/

(Not) Cutting It, The Fanzine, 02.06.17, http://thefanzine.com/not-cutting-it/

The Problem with Cuckoo Clock Country: Germany, Dachau and Genocide, The Nervous Breakdown, 12.15.13, http://thenervousbreakdown.com/bortler/2013/12/the-problem-with-cuckoo-clock-country-germany-dachau-and-genocide/

Surviving My Wife’s Miscarriage, Salon, 02.05.13, https://www.salon.com/2013/02/05/surviving_my_wifes_miscarriage/

Poetry

What the Dead Tell Us About Mycology, The Toadstool Review, Vol. 49, No. 3.

What the Dead Tell Us About the Road Back to the Living, The Lake.

What the Dead Tell Us About a Chicken with Its Head Cut Off, Atticus Review

Disappearance in Flight, The Fanzine

The Museum of the Lost, Revolver, January 27, 2014

What the Dead Tell Us About the Other World, Revolver, August 13, 2013

At Orientation, Revolver, March 4, 2013

What the Dead Tell Us About Bookies, Gambling, and Betting in the Afterlife, Redactions, Issue 15

Cupid in Old Age, Red Weather

Lake Effect, Ascent

Prescribed Burn, Nimrod International Literary Journal

The Cave of Swallows and What The Abandoned Houses of North Dakota Can Tell Us About Adultery, The South Dakota Review

What the Dead Tell Us About Heaven and Hell, Lake Effect, Spring 2010

Adam and Eve and the First Tornado, Permafrost, Summer 2009

What the Dead Tell Us About Charon, Ferryman of the Dead, December 14, 2009

Photographs

BBC Earth. “The ten sexiest male birds.” Dark-eyed Junco.

Times of Israel. “As Hard As It May Seem, A Hat Made Out of Mushrooms.” Shelf Mushroom.

Ontario Nature Magazine. Butterfly and Moth Guide. Eastern tent caterpillar moth.

Abbott’s Sphinx, Know Your Insects, www.knowyourinsects.org/Lepidoptera1_Moths.html#Sphecodina%20abbottii

One-Eyed Sphinx, Know Your Insects, www.knowyourinsects.org/Lepidoptera1_Moths.html#Smerinthus%20cerisyi

Modest Sphinx, Know Your Insects, www.knowyourinsects.org/Lepidoptera1_Moths.html#Pachysphinx%20modesta

Nessus Sphinx, Know Your Insects, www.knowyourinsects.org/Lepidoptera1_Moths.html#Amphion%20floridensis

White-Lined Sphinx, Know Your Insects, www.knowyourinsects.org/Lepidoptera1_Moths.html#Hyles%20lineata
 
Thick-headed Fly, Know Your Insects, www.knowyourinsects.org/Diptera1.html#Conopidae

Birds of Pennsylvania, Student Writing Project at Penn State New Kensington. American Goldfinch.

City Pages. “Star Tribune columnist Jim Souhan and the art of phoning it in.” Target Field.

Nevins, M., J. Duncan, A. Kosiba, J. Truong, R. Stern and J. Pontius (Eds.) 2018. The Forest Ecosystem Monitoring Cooperative Long-Term Monitoring Update  http://doi.org/10.18125/vt2018. Paper Birch.

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